“We know your mind tyrannizes you,” he said gently…calmly. Matter-of-factly. There was no judgement in his voice.
She felt confused. So often confused.
What should she do? How should she be?
The confusion came from all over. She was told to be one way…was she really that way?
How was she truly?
Questions swirled constantly in her mind. What to do now? Where to go? How to be?
“I see you have questions,” he said. “I can see them swirling in your mind,” he continued.
“I see how challenging they are for you. How much they weigh you down…
“You want to let that all go. Just want peace. Clarity. In fact, sometimes you just want nothing….
Nothingness. Silence. Stillness.
You just want to be still.”
She didn’t react. She was just following his words. She didn’t know whether she could trust this man, of extraordinary claims.
She didn’t know whether she could trust him.
All she knew was, she had tried everything else. So many things. And now she was exhausted. Running in circles in her mind.
“Truthfully,” he continued, “I don’t know whether I can help you either…
“All we can do is test that. All we can do is try together, and see what happens.”
He pulled an old mechanical metronome from his desk.
“We can start with this,” he said.
He tapped the pendulum and it began swinging back and forth.
Tick…
Tock…
Tick…
Tock…
Instinctively, she watched it.
“Very good,” he said. “This is the first test. The first experiment.
You focus on the pendulum. Stay focused on it.”
Tick…
Tock…
Tick…
Tock…
Left…
Right…
Left…
Right…
A regular, comforting rhythm. Something easy to do.
No decisions to be made. Not right now.
Just staring at the pendulum
Tick…
Tock…
Tick…
Tock…
“Good. Now breathe in…”
1…
2…
3…
4…
He counted in time with the pendulum and, she did as guided.
“And out.”
1…
2…
3…
4…
She breathed out in time to his counting, matched perfectly to the pendulum.
In….
1…
Tick…
3…
Tock…
And out…
2…
Tick…
4 …
It was soothing…
Watching the pendulum…
And breathing in sync with his words.
It didn’t allow her time to think about anything else.
Indeed, she didn’t want to think about anything else anyway. That’s why she was here.
“Cure your anxiety! Heal your depression!”
The claims on the sign had seemed over the top, but she didn’t know where else to turn.
Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock
And, he said, notice how relaxed you feel, after the breathing, after the counting. With the watching.
He was right. Her body felt so much more relaxed right now…
Miles away from whatever had made her come here in the first place…she could barely remember any of it.
Just focusing
Tick
Tock
And breathing
Tick tock
It was all so simple.
So calming
Nothing else to do.
Watch
Left
Right
Right
Left
And breathe….
In sync
To the slow
Tick…
Tock…
Of the pendulum…
She fell into the pattern of it…
She didn’t know how long….
Until finally she noticed.
He placed his hand on the pendulum. Stopping it.
She looked up at him.
“How was that?”
“Relaxing.” She felt so calm.
“We have done well, for this first test.”
“Come again Tuesday? Same time.”
“Yes.”
The answer was automatic. She wanted more. Needed more?
She felt so good.